AFRAID

After school, I went to library to return some books I have borrowed a couple days a go. As I walked along the corridor, I felt like there was someone who followed me. So, I turned around and thank God it was only Jamie. He was my classmate and he was the smartest student in this school. I felt so lucky that he was in the same class with me. He helped me a lot with all the school stuffs. He smiled at me. So, I smiled at him too and turned around continued my way.

 Suddenly, Jamie walked beside me. He suprised me. He smiled then asked me, “Wanna go to library?”

 I easily said, “Yes. You?” He was 6 foot or something. I a bit looked up to talked with him. Sometimes, I wonder how could he became a human, not a giraffe or something?

Then he said, “Yeah, me too. I need to find some books for my, I mean our history assignment. Remember that?”

I tried hard to remember that. But, I found nothing in my memory. “Ah, really? Do we have an assignment just for two? I mean you and me?”

He laughed at me. God, it was really a shame for me. “Haha.. Miss absent – minded, aren’t you?”

I scratched my head. Held back my shame. For sure, I didn’t remember anything about that history assignment. He teased me or what?

3 seconds after that I felt he pulled my hand and said, “Well, Miss absent – minded, we have no time to heal your memory. Let’s go!” Really? He called me as “Miss Absent-minded” for two times?

Then we arrived at the library. He put off his hand from mine. I walked to my fav spot at the library and sat there nicely. Jamie followed me and sat in front of me. He looked at me and gave me that smile he never gave to me before. He was so weird. I mean, what happened with this guy?

“Already remember it, Miss........”

“Absent-minded.” I countinued it a lil fed up. “Why you gotta be so mean, Jamie? You’ve never been this mean before.”

“Don’t make it as a big deal. I’m kidding, okay?” He gave me that smile which made me didn’t wanna fed up with him anymore.

I tried to forget that smile and talked as straight as I could. “I already remember that. So, where should we start?”

“I’ll find the books. You just wait here, okay?” He winked at me. I nodded as he lost between the bookshelfs.

After ±10 minutes he came back. I almost died there waiting for him. “Got it?” I asked him.

He sat then thrusted me some books he found. “This, this and this.”

“Great. It’ll help a lot. Thanks..” I took one of them and started to read page by page carefully. I wrote down some important points for the assignement.

Then I unexpressly pierced at Jamie. You know what? He did nothing. NOTHING. He just stared at me like a fool. So I put my book and waved my hand in front of his face until he awared from his daydream.

“What now? You only sit there doing nothing?” I really fed up with him right now. No lie.

“Oh.. my bad! Sorry..” After that, he took a book, “So, here we go. France Revolution. Umm.. page 145.” He started to read. But, I could see his eyes and brain didn’t really mean it.

I whirled my eyes, lost my mind for him. So, I continued read the book. I was so serious until I forgot if there was Jamie in front of me. I drowned into the France Revolution world. I was like reading a novel. It was like a fiction story which ever happened in the past event. So interesting.

Suddenly, a heavy voice ruined my consetration. “Sarah..” And I knew it was Jamie.

“What?” I answered him shortly.

“May I ask you something?”

“What’s that?”

He kept silent for any seconds. He closed his book then softly put it onto the table. He stared me at the deepest side of my eyes. I could feel it.

“Don’t get mad, please?” He begged me.

I thought he would ask me about the France Revolution stuffs. But, when he said that I was not really sure.

“Ask it first, so I can decide should I mad or not.”

“Ok then. H a v e  y o u  e v e r  b e e n  i n  l o v e  b e f o r e?” I suprised by his question. He never asked me that stuffs. All he ever asked me were all about school stuffs.

I gulped spittle before I answered that. “Never. I have never been in love before.”

He suprised by my answer. “For real?”

“Yeah..”

“But why?”

“Because I’m afraid to falling in love.  I maybe happy at the beginning, but as the time passes, the guy I love will show his thorns which can hurt me. So, I think it’s useless. I’m afraid to falling in love, Jamie. Why do you ask me that by the way?”

“Nothing. But, we have the same problem.”

“What problem?” I was so curious. He never asked me about ‘Love Stuffs’.  He suprised me a lot.

“Afraid.” He answered me shortly.

“Afraid what?” You are afraid to falling in love too?”

“No, no.. I’m in love with someone.”

“So, where’s the afraid part?”

“I’m afraid to tell her the truth if I’m in love with her. I’m too afraid to say ‘I am in love with you’.”

He looked so worried. So I calmed him down.

“Relax. We can solve this problem together, okay?”

He smiled at me. Suddenly he put his hand onto my hand then he held it so tight. I didn’t know what kind of situation it was. I hoped there was no one who saw us like that.

“What, Jamie? Why are you holding my hand?”

“You said we can solve this problem together.”

“Yes, I mean I can help you solve your ‘afraid’ problem. Don’t you get it?”

“I get it. With our hand holding like this, I think I have found my way to solve this problem. Mine and yours.”

He made me so confused. How holding hand could solve problem? Weird. Think Jamie was drunk or something.

He kept silent for about 15 seconds. He closed his eyes and when he opened it, he took a deep breathe and said, “I’m in love with you, Sarah.”

I couldn’t say anything. There was a bom exploded inside my heart and brain. I couldn’t believe if Jamie ever said that to me. All I could say was only a, “What?”

“I said, I’m in love with you. And I just solved my problem cause I have already said that to you.” He smiled at me. “Now your turn.”

“My turn to what? You make me so confused, Jamie.”

“Listen to me, okay?”

So, I nodded confusely.

“I’m in love with you. Can you feel it? I’ll be a guy who will never ever hurt you. So, please don’t afraid of me, don’t afraid of love. I don’t force you to be in love with me. But, trust me as a guy who will love you.

I amazed by the way Jamie said those words. So I answered him full of bliss, “Jamie, I really appreciate your bravery. You are such a nice guy. You are smart, kind, and of course brave. I think by now I’m not afraid to falling in love anymore.. It’s all because I have already found you.”

THE END