Beneath Your Beautiful

(Inspired by a song with the same title by Labrinth Ft. Emile Sande)

            

I saw her everyday. I adored her so much. She always looked so happy whenever I saw her. Her beautiful face without any make up there, her long brown hair, her smooth skin, her red lips and her bright smile. Made me wanna touch all of them but I just couldn’t. She was out of my league.

I knew and everybody knew that she had no boyfriend during High School. Guys always ended up with a “No” from her. It didn’t make sense for me. A beautiful girl like her didn’t have a boyfriend? Insane. But it was true. She looked fine. I mean, she didn’t look like a mean girl in the movie or something. There might be a reason for that.

Well, her name was Rebecca. For me, she was the most beautiful girl in this school. And also she was the happiest girl I have ever known. Why? She always smiling everytime I saw her. She smiled to everyone she met, included me. When she gave me her smile, you know, it felt like the whole school suddenly turned to heaven. No lie.

One day, I saw her came out from the toilet. I could see her eyes were swelled. When she saw me, she stopped then smiled at me. So,  I smiled at her too. But then she left me. Yeah, I knew right. It supposed to be like that anyway.

I could tell that she was crying. It was so clear. I had no idea why she still be able to stopped and smiled at me like that. Maybe she forgot about those swelled eyes on her face.

She gave me her smile, but I didn’t feel the “Heaven Sensation” like I used to. And then I realized that it was a fake smile.

As a gentleman, I followed her and asked her, “Are you okay?”

She stopped by my question and looked suprise, “Tristan? Why are you following me?”

“Umm, I just wanna make sure if you are okay or not.” I answered nervously. I seldom talked to her.

“Oh, I’m okay. Everything is fine.” She smiled.

“But, your eyes are swelled. Why?” I kept asking her cause I had doubt if she didn’t tell the truth.

She touched her eyes, “Really? Oh, maybe cause last night I have a sleepless night. Haha it’s fine.” She laughed at herself.

“Oh, okay then. I thought you were crying.”

“Of course no. Haha. I’ll catch up with you later, ok?”

“Okay.” Then she left me.

Okay, maybe she was true. She just had a sleepless night. So, there’s nothing I had to worry. And of course she didn’t cry. She was the happiest girl I’ve ever known, right?

The next day, I didn’t see her at school. So I asked her friend and it was right that she didn’t come to school with no reason. I worried her so much. You know, after yesterday’s event. I thought she wasn’t ok at all.

I opened my phone then checked her timeline on twitter. She hasn’t tweeted anything since four days a go. At least she tweeted something. You know.. GIRL. But she didn’t. But then I found something. It was a week a go. She tweeted “The worst part of being strong is that no one ever asks you if you’re okay” –Unknown

By that tweet, I knew that she wasn’t ok at all. I knew it right.

***

            Finnaly she showed up at school a day before the prom night. I had no partner yet. I really wanted to ask her, but I was so sure that her answer would be  “No. Sorry.” So I decided to ask another girl. A girl I had no feeling with. Great! Her name was Nicole by the way. Why did I choose her? Because she didn’t have any partner too. Poor me and her.

            I didn’t know who was the lucky guy who wouId be success to asked her to be his partner at the prom. I sweared to God, he was the LUCKIEST GUY IN SCHOOL if he did it. And I envy him so much. Thinking about that just made me crazier.

            Well, I had prepared everything for the prom night. I spent all night in front of my piano with a piece of paper and a pen on it.

***

*At the prom night*

            I was so nervous waiting for her arrival. I sat in the corner of the room with my partner, Nicole. I wondered if Rebecca was there sitting with me. Ah, but the fact that it was only Nicole, made me felt so tragic.

            Nicole kept asking me to dance but I refused her until she fed up with me and went to the dance floor alone. I didn’t care at all. All I cared about was the only one, Rebecca.

            Finally, I saw an angel,  Sorry I mean I saw Rebecca entering the prom’s room. She wore a red dress which looked so fit with her body. She let her hair cascading just like that. She wore a pair of red rose earrings. She was the  brightest one among the crowd. It felt like she spouted light or something. Cause my eyes couldn’t stop staring at her.

            But then I saw there was something less. She didn’t bring any partner to the prom. I heard all the boys whispered each other like, “She refused me but now she doesn’t bring anybody to the prom. What  kind of bullshit is this?”

            It was a bit relieve. She was alone. I was alone too. I mean, what kind of denial would happen? NOTHING. I couldn’t expect the impossible thing like we met then she said to me, “Oh, you have no partner. Me too. Let’s hit the dance floor.” 

NOOOOOOO... It was only my big bad dream.

            She had a lot of conversation with her friends at the other side of this room. I felt so lonely. So I was thinking something crazy. I stood up then walked closer to Rebecca. I meant to asked her to dance but then I heard the MC called my name, “Ladies and gentleman, a special performance for you tonight. Let’s give a big shout for Tristan Maguire!” I heard everyone clapped their hands and shouted my name.

            I was totally failed to dance with her. Well, it wasn’t a big deal. I was so nervous. But then I conviced my self that I could do that. So, I went up to the stage and I saw Rebecca was on the front line. She made me more nervous. If there was a gun on my hand, I would just shoot my head right there. So I could go to heaven and had nothing to worry about. God..

            I calmed down my self, and then I sat in front of the piano, I took a deep breathe, and when I felt ready, I started to speak, “Good evening everyone. First of all, I want to tell you something about a girl.”

            Everyone was so excited and it made me more confident.

            “Okay. I knew this girl since the first day in high school. She is the most beautiful and the happiest girl I have ever known in this school. She always smile and look happy everyday. Her smile is the brightest one. But, one day, I saw her crying. And since then, I knew if there’s something wrong behind her smile.  So, last night, she became my inspiration to wrote this song. This one is for you, Rebecca Lawrence..”

            I saw her was so shocked. Shocked because of me, wheter I called her name or not. I didn’t really care and worry about what would happen and the respons of her. I started playing the piano and sang from the deepest side of my heart.

Beneath Your Beautiful

You tell all the boys, “No”

Makes you feel good, yeah

I know you’re out of my league

But, that won’t scare me away

You’ve carried on so long

You couldn’t stop if you tried it

You’ve built your wall so high

That no one could climb it

But, I’m gonna try

Would you let me see beneath your beautiful?

Would you let me see beneath your perfect?

Take it off now girl, I wanna see inside

Would you let me see beneath your beautiful, tonight?

 You let all the boys go

Makes you feel so good, don’t it?

Behind your broadway show

I heard a girl say, “Please don’t hurt me.”

 You’ve carried on so long

You couldn’t stop if you tried it

You’ve  built your wall so high

That no one could climb it

But, I’m gonna try

Would you let me see beneath your beautiful?

Would you let me see beneath your perfect?

Take it off now girl, I wanna see inside

Would you let me see beneath your beautiful, tonight?

I’m gonna climb on top your Ivory tower

I’ll hold your hand and then we’ll jump right out

We’ll be falling, falling but that’s ok

Cause I’ll be right here

I just wanna know

Would you let me see beneath your beautiful?

Would you let me see beneath your perfect?

Take it off now girl, I wanna see inside

Would you let me see beneath your beautiful, tonight?

When I finished, everybody clapped their hands so loud. It was so crowd. I could feel the atmosphere there. And I was so happy. I didn’t expect something big and crowd like that. Well, thanks God.

The MC came to the stage and said, “What a great performance it was! It sounded from heart, didn’t it?”

I answered, “Yes, of course.”

“So, should I invite Rebecca here? Where is the girl on that song? Come on, girl..”

The crowd pointed her. And Rebecca couldn’t believe if she was the girl on my song. But, yes she was..

 “Oh you.. You look so beautiful tonight. Come here join us.”

She said, “Me?”

“Are there any Rebecca here?”

The crowd said, “NOOOOO....”

“Oh, come on!” The MC went down the stage then pulled Rebecca to the stage.

Finally, we stood face to face. I was so nervous. I was so scared that she didn’t like my song or everything I’ve done to her that night. But, she stared at me the way she never gave to me or maybe anyone else before.

“So, Tristan, is there something you wanna tell to her?”

I answered it easily, “All I wanna say to her has been told by that song.”

“Sweet! And, Rebecca, how about you? Is there something you wanna tell to him?”

She kept silent for any second. Until then she opened her mouth and said, “I don’t know what kind of words I have to say to you, Tristan. But, would you like to sing it once again for me, please?” Then she cried. But I knew it was a kind of cry with happiness.

I suprised by her answer. And when I saw her crying, I gave her my shoulder so she cried on my shoulder. Suddenly I heard she whispered to me, “Thankyou..” She hugged me so tight. After about 10 seconds, she pulled me off and gave a sign for me to sang the song again.

So I played the piano and sang the song again with Rebecca sat beside me. So I could see her face more clearly. And I saw she was so affected and happy. I knew because she smiled at me with that kind of smile which turned the whole Prom’s room into heaven.

***

The next days, me and Rebecca was getting closer and closer. We became good friends or whatever you call it. We went to the same college.  She told me everything. So there’s nothing that she kept by herself which could make her hurt anymore.

And since then, I knew that she has been hurting by something I can not tell you. Only God, me and her who know about that.

Something that she said to me which revived me was, “It’s just I don’t want to be somebody’s crush. If somebody likes me, I want them to like the real me, not what they think I am. And I don’t wanna them to carry it around inside. I want them to show me, so I can feel it too.”

There’s so much pain beneath her beautiful and perfect. And I will try to fix them with all of my heart.

THE END